A beautiful day in the Cotswolds. A secluded car park. 3 men (and some random relations) set about a task so daunting that it would make Naval engineers wince with displeasure.
The task in question: to drain the life blood from the chariot Espace and perform a transfusion.
It began with such gusto, but as usual was quashed by the interminable French once again. The drain plug on the bottom of the oil was square. and not proper square either - 8mm, stupid effing metric system. So Tim attempted to find something to put in the hole (fnarr fnarr). It started in the toolbox obviously. But, alas, nothing would fit the bill. So he turned to other instruments within the garage domain and settled upon the garden fork. This was, of course, stainless steel, and took approximately 15 minutes to hacksaw through it. Then, because it was 9.5mm square, he had to file it down to fit, which took another 20 minutes.
Eventually, it was thin enough to fit in the ridiculous gallic hole, and Tim managed to hammer the improvised tool into position to drain the oil. (I would like to point out at this juncture, my grandfather worked as an engineer in the Navy during the war, and a tool he invented is still in use today - i'd like to think in years to come, my grandchildren will be able auction this priceless tool on ebay, or whatever medium is available to them)
The oil flowed, oh how it flowed! A wondrous, sleek moving stalactite (NB - a simple way of remembering it's stalactite - it has the word 'tit' in it, and tits hang down) of black filling up the cat litter tray that was awaiting underneath. I'll gloss over the fact we were using a litter tray - the less said about that, the better.
Anyway.... Having bought a 5 litre container (gallon... stupid metric shite) we were then told by the Haynes that what was actually required was 5.5 - 6 litres. Cock. So whilst the Rossatron (decepticon, not autobot) went to get some more oil, and wee bit more diesel, Tim and Paulo Bradlissimo (Italian chef) ensured the oil plug was back in place. Bugger. It was leaking. Q Tim frantically trying to jam his now infamous tool (fnarr fnarr) back into the hole of the oil plug to tighten it up. Brainwaves began to trickle down from the ether, and Brad thought of the one thing that would probably do it - the bolt from a door handle! And lo, thus it did fit. Tightened and secure. The oil was topped up and circulated a bit.
Moving onto a place that had already been visited - the coolant system. It also needed draining and flushing. So Tim the tool (notice ..man Taylor was not added to the end of that) lay underneath the chariot and began to loosen the bottom pipe from the radiator..... SPLOOSH! A quick roll and spit from Tim; Ross removed anything that shouldn't be wet; Brad laughed; and Katy failed to get a picture of it. This was repeated 3 times, with the help Matt the neighbour's garden tap/ hose (ta for that).
A day later, and there still appears to be a slight drip from where the oil plug. Not a tragic amount, but annoying nonetheless. This will be monitored...
Changing the gaiter on the near side which actually didn't need doing was relatively pain free to do especially as we could see the area we were working on from under the bonnet.
Tim has to be credited with doing most of the difficult bit of sliding the new gaiters into place which he described as being strangely like veterinary work.
